About a month ago, I realized I’d been in the mud. My feet were sinking in just a bit deeper with each passing day. Nothing was wrong as such, but I felt stuck. I’d been there before. We all have. You know the place. Maybe for you it is sitting in front of your computer screen or your sheet of paper or your blank canvas. Maybe you’re facing the monotony of your kitchen cupboards. You’ve strayed from that intuitive creativity and the words and ideas are lost to you – for a while.
I’ve just been so busy. I hear the ridiculousness of the words as I say them. They feel shallow and weightless. I’ve been caught up in work and school and routine. I’ve been caught up in lack of routine too. I’ve walked around like a zombie. Sometimes I’ve tried to make eye contact, sometimes I’ve desperately avoided it. Looking around I’ve caught myself thinking ‘I just don’t get it’. And yet there I was amongst them; lost amongst us all. I’ve been tired. I’ve sat in front of the television knowing full well it was dulling me. If you’re sensitive like me, you can justify it – sometimes you need to be subdued and put to sleep.
And so the cycle went. Or so it goes. Some of the time.
During those few months, I caught myself trying to get off the ride. I stuck my hand out of the window of a moving car and said something brilliant but nobody heard it, not even me. I skimmed my fingers against the soft feathers of the dream catcher hanging by my bedroom window.
I realized my disconnect.
I longed to find the light again. I knew she was there, hiding behind the veil.
And so I went to the source.
I drank the medicine of the earth.
I pulled cards to clear my vision.
I burned sage and cedar and sweetgrass.
I listened to the messages; I heard them in the deepest corners of my heart’s heart.
I’m listening still, and navigating the beautiful cacophony – and the harmony, all at once – of my own song.
The lessons are for me. They are for you. They are for all of us.
First, become the hermit.
It’s time to incubate. Like a hamster caught in a wheel, you’ve been going nowhere except further away from your light. Take the time to stop. Say no and take a break from external activities for a while. Those who love you will understand and support you. Take a walk in the forest and pick some cedar. Soak in a warm bathtub full of the branches you’ve brought home and sing yourself a love song. Listen to the beauty of your own voice and the wisdom of the silence. Take the time to remember your self. Turn your energy inward and rediscover your magical inner beingness. In order to truly feel good, you must learn to occasionally retreat from everything and let yourself be replenished in solitude. Tune in to the rhythms of your heart, you breath, your life force. Welcome the pause. Renew your strengths.
Be open to what arises.
In your solitude, recognize your individual awareness and its connection to global consciousness. Give yourself permission to face your fears in order to shed them. Trust that you have a rightful place in this world, that your gifts are as bright as your heart. Be open to the inevitability of transformation, like a snake shedding it’s old skin and transmuting into a soft, shiny, new self. Let your inner mountain lion guide you back to your spirit. Listen to the buffalo from your dreams. He will answer your prayers and renew your grace. Reconnect with your inner teachers and embody every stage of relearning yourself.
Let go of your past. Thank it, bless it, but don’t carry it around so much. Trust that what truly belongs to you will always be available. Trust that your past is made up of memories that are meant to give way to an infinitely more fulfilling present. It’s time to wake up to a new direction – one where your fears and doubts no longer hold you back.
Now that you’ve met yourself again, learn to go with the flow. Attune to your forces and allow the metamorphosis. There is no need to complicate things anymore. Once you are in harmony with your self, change becomes an ally and you can see it for what it is: perfection in action. Trust that every turn, every door that opens or closes, has the potential to make you shine brighter still. Allow each success and each failure to become great teachers. Know deeply that there is immense wisdom in not identifying too strongly with any of your experiences. The river is always flowing back to the sea. All you have to do is let her carry you.
Shine like the bright star that you are.
You’ve tuned in. You’ve listened. You’ve learned a few things. Now it’s time to hold your self in beauty, to walk with grace, to speak with openness, to give with generosity, to live in gratitude. Recognize that to give is a gift from the divine. Allow the life that is now freely pouring out of you to guide you. Let is show you how to pass on what you are constantly receiving. It is in the giving of yourself – back to your self as well as to others – that you will generate profound contentment and kindheartedness. Trust that your source is endless, that the earth is replenishing it, that the circle of giving and taking completes itself. Look up at the night sky and see your reflection as the brightest star. She will show you how brilliantly your heart shines. Let her remind you of your own gifts, whatever they may be. Know that your wealth is immeasurable.
Be the mother of air.
From the earth’s perspective, the air or the wind personifies the divine messenger. Step fully into self-awareness and trust your innate intelligence. Give yourself permission to be in self-respect, in inner strength, in clarity, in creativity, in courage. Be who you truly are, not who you should have been, could have been or are supposed to be. Be naked to the world. Drop your masks and vow to never pick them up again. This is the only way to fully return to your centre. If you listen with honesty, you will find you have the intrinsic courage to express yourself with unmistakable clarity. This does not mean pushing anyone out of your path. Instead, it means being kinder to your own heart. It means shedding those preconceived notions you have bought into. It means recognizing your own worth and acting accordingly. Honour, respect and take care of yourself in order to become an example of how others should treat you.